"Family Politics"

Season 1 Episode 3
Canadian airdate: November 4th, 2001

Boycott the Caf name: "Election episode"
Important characters: Ashley, JT & Toby
Issue of the Week: The bonds of family

It's the first day of school at Degrassi Junior High. In her house getting ready for the big day, Ashley is giggling with Terri over the phone. Ashley tells Terri they are going to get her a boyfriend this year. Yeah, I don't think so. Terri won't getting any dates, she's a fat ass. Ashley is also preparing her campaign to be elected school president.

Ashley tries to enter the bathroom, but Toby is already inside it. Toby and his dad have recently moved in with Ashley and her mom, and this has created a lot of friction between Toby and Ashley. Also between Toby's dad and Ashley's mom. Those two don't seem to like each other, so I don't know why they would ever decide to live together in the first place. Maybe Toby's dad needs citizenship and has a lot of money.

Ashley and Toby argue about using the bathroom. Toby exits wearing Ashley's bra to get her riled up. Toby's some crazy cross dresser, I tell you. It makes sense that he should be using a bra, though, because grabbing his own chubby man boobs is the only way Toby will ever be getting to second base for his whole life.

School begins as students flood into Degrassi. Toby complains to JT about Ashley, while Ashley complains about Toby to Terri.

Paige meets up with Ashley and Terri. She is sporting her new slut look, as well as a see-through box purse. Some kid in a red cap is so captivated with Paige's sweet ass that he walks right into a wall. Paige may think she's hot stuff now, but won't a year later when that wardrobe gets her raped.

Emma and Manny enter the school, when all of the sudden, Spinner blocks their way. He demands that the two show him their hall passes, or they won't be allowed in. Emma and Manny don't know what to say, and Spinner laughs. Oh, Spinner, you punk'd those chicks good.

Liberty gets her first appearance and already is so damn annoying, you just want to take an axe to her face. She tells Ashley she is running for class secretary and is looking forward to working with her. Check out the look of disgust on Ashley's face while Liberty talks to her. She's not even trying to hide how much she hates Liberty. Fuck you, Liberty, just die.

Toby tells JT about how unfair it is that no one is running against Ashley. He then gets the idea that JT should enter the race as a joke. JT doesn't want to, until Toby tells him he isn't going to win anyway, and it will be a great opportunity to perform his stand up material. JT is such a budding starlet, he decides to go for it. Toby is happy that a little competition will make Ashley sweat.

JT begins campaigning in the caf. Ashley is shocked by this. Various scenes are shown of the two campaigning and giving speeches to different crowds around the school. I don't know why the two are so serious about the race and making so many promises; class presidents can't do anything. You're not going to get the students better representation on the school board or improve lunch menus; adults decide those things. You decorate school dances, that's it. Lame-o's.

Hey, check it out, horny kid in the red cap is at JT's rally.

Back home, Ashley and Toby argue about JT being in the race. Ashley says Toby is doing it just to spite her, and Toby lies and says he is not. Toby's a pretty lucky for being so short, because his head is at the same level as Ashley's breasts. Ashley has a killer rack for thirteen, too.

The next day, it appears that JT has as much support as Ashley. Toby is glad that the close race will get Ashley really, really sweaty, but JT is worried that he might win and have to do actual work. Spinner and Jimmy suddenly grab JT and haul his ass into the gym supply room, where Ashley is waiting.

Ashley offers JT eighty dollars to quit the race. Shit that's a lot of money. It might even be American money, too, which is a good deal, because $80 Canadian is only like fifty cents American, or something. It's hard to tell whether that is American or Canadian currency; our best forensic scientists are still on the job. The bills are green, but don't look like any familiar design. The fact that the United States changes the look of its twenty dollar bill every other month just adds to the confusion. If you know what currency Ashley is giving JT then email us, please.

[Edit: Don't send us anymore emails about the currency. Mystery has been solved.]

Spinner hits Manny with a spitball, and takes another hearty laugh at getting those little girls again. Picking on twelve year old girls, Spinner, you rock. Most bullies only pick on boys their own age, but Spinner is all about equality.

Manny begins to cry and Spinner walks off, knowing his task is complete. It turns out Manny was just pretending to cry to get Spinner to leave them alone. A good move on Manny's part because it seems like Spinner's objective was to pick on the girls long enough until he made them weep. Manny know how to please her man, and whether it's by spreading her legs for Craig or crying for Spinner, she can fake it either way.

JT tells Toby about Ashley's bribe and offers to split the money. Toby is upset that Ashley is going to get her way and wants to tell on her. Standing up for what you believe in is Emma's job, not yours Toby, take the money and go look at internet porn like your supposed to.

Instead, Toby talks to Ashley before her campaign speech and threatens to tell the whole school about the bribery. Ashley accuses Toby of trying to ruin her life. They argue briefly and Toby decided to not rat her out.

In the conclusion at Ashley and Toby's house, Toby congratulates Ashley's election win. The two of them begin to understand each other's position, and agree that they should try to get along. It's been a long day of playing family politics.

Rating: B-
All the main characters received a decent amount of airtime, since in a way, this is the first episode. But JT and Toby are just too damn annoying to be a central part of any episode, especially since they have been the stars of three episodes in a row now. Ashley, on the other hand, is really cute and won't be annoying until season 2. If it was legal to bang 13 year olds, I tell ya. It's also interesting to note how much of the show takes place at the school, but you hardly ever see any of the kids in class.

Also, how about that Ashley got away with trying to fix an election?

I brought the grade up a couple of points after putting into consideration how funny it was when Spinner picked on Manny and Emma. You rock so fucking much, Spinner.

Intensity Level: 13% Intense
The Ashley-Toby conflict and the bribery put the intensity into this episode. Other than that, it's a pretty average day at Degrassi. The producers are going to have to really pump it up if they want to claim that Degrassi is 100% Intense.

"Family Politics" Drinking Game:
Take a shot every time you see that kid in the red cap. He gets more face time than Hazel will in the first season.

Deleted Scene: (What you can only see on the DVD)
This scene was so awesome I can see why it was too hot for TV. Spinner approaches Emma and Manny at the outside steps of Degrassi, saying he needs a quarter to show them a magic trick. Manny hands him a quarter. Spinner then says "Now you see it. Now you don't" and walks away with the quarter, laughing. That's golden. Leave it to Spinner to take money from a little girl. Emma calls Spinner pathetic, but he's the one with the extra 25 cents, not you, ass.