"Jagged Little Pill"

Season 1 Episode 15
Canadian airdate: March 3rd, 2002

Boycott the Caf name: "Ashley Does E"
Important characters: Ashley, JT & Toby
Issue of the Week: Drug abuse (II)

This is the final episode of the first season. Oh what a ride it has been, and after this episode, no one will be the same. Actually, everyone will be pretty much the same for the second season, except Ashley. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Now let's get ready to rock.

We begin at the Isaacs-Kerwin house. Ashley and Toby's parents are going to be gone over the night, leaving Ashley and Toby to their own devices. The kids are allowed invite one friend each over for a night of good wholesome fun. Too bad last time Toby had the house to himself and could invite a friend over, they just looked at lots and lots of internet porn.

It's the last day of school. In Media Immersion, the seventh grade class has made a crazy computer animated goodbye card for Mr. Simpson. All the kids appear here. On the top row is Toby, Don't Know His Name Kid, Pig Faced Asian Girl with the Bandana, Liberty, and JT. On the bottom row we have Sleeping Guy, Manny, Ugly Girl, Sean, Emma, and Black Man who is eating Emma's pigtail. How about how pissed off Sean looks in that thing.

Anyway, Emma and Sean have been broken up ever since the previous episode, when Sean "accidentally" punched her in the face while he was fighting Jimmy. JT and Toby invite Sean to Toby's house. Sean is at first like "Fuck off geeks" and then gives them each an atomic wedgies, but then JT lies and said Emma was going to be there.

That his him. Sean could do nothing but look away longingly, quiver his lip, and agree to come over.

After school at Ashley and Toby's house, Ashley has Terri, Paige, and Hazel over, in flagrant violation of the one friend only rule. Paige made her do it, I swear.

The girls watch a movie with 3-D glasses. I don't know what the appeal of 3-D movies are; the glasses don't actually make anything appear to be in 3-D, they just made everything look out of focus and give you a headache. And I don't think the effect even works on a television set.

Sean enters the house. The girls are surprised to see him come over, and Sean informs them Toby invited him. You know how embarrassing it must have been for Sean to admit that he was here to hang out with JT and Toby? He should have lied and said he was over to steal their lunch money or something.

The guys play cards in Toby's room. JT asks Sean for advice about the ladies, and Sean is surprised because he always assumed JT and Toby were gay.

JT then brings out his sure fire way to get chicks. He obtained a tablet of Ecstasy from his crazy cousin. "Ecstasy is the love drug, right?" says JT.  "There’s a whole room of girls down there needing some love." Well who can argue with logic like that for taking drugs? Sean offers to cut the tablet and goes downstairs.

Sean encounters Ashley in the kitchen and shows her the ecstasy. Ashley is flabbergasted. Sean replaces the E with an Aspirin tablet. He also helps himself to some fruit snacks. He tells Ashley to flush the tablet. Man, Sean is too badass for that. He should have just swallowed the E right in front of Ashley and then fucked her in the mouth.

Back upstairs, Sean gives JT and Toby each half of the aspirin tablet, and tells them to chew it slowly for a better high. Sean can't do drugs because he has to regularly pee into a cup for his social worker, so he enjoys some Gushers. I like Gushers too, I should remember to add some to my shopping list.

JT and Toby believe that they are high and start acting goofy. More so than usual.

Back in the kitchen, Ashley has fixed together a nice party platter when Paige approaches her and calls the party boring. She tells Ashley to lighten up, call Jimmy, and learn to party. Ashley somehow interprets this to mean to take the Ecstasy tablet.

JT called Emma over and she shows up at the house with Liberty and Manny. Manny has some really sweet headphones one. Look at those. Ashley answers the door, now high as a kite.

Ashley throws Liberty inside and dances with her. Look at how scared Liberty is. Maybe she is just confused that someone now likes her. You would have to be high to like Liberty.

Emma and Manny go to Toby's room and witness him and JT continue to think they are tripping. I'll have to try Aspirin some time; it gives you such an awesome placebo high.

Toby has to be one the nerdiest people around, but for some reason he has a poster of Kittie, a hardcore female heavy metal band. That's crazy.

Jimmy and Spinner arrive, bringing their crew with them. Spinner comes carrying a watermelon. Why he brought a watermelon or what he was doing with it before he was invited over, we'll never know. But this much is clear: Spinner is 100% fucking awesome.

Jimmy notices that Ashley is acting crazy and asks her if she has been drinking. Ashley whispers into Jimmy's ear E-C-S-T-A-S-Y and Jimmy is shocked. I'm surprised Jimmy was able to spell that in his head. I would have gotten it confused and asked why Ashley playing Excite Bike has anything to do with her behavior. Jimmy tells Ashley to drink some water. Ashley jokes that she will go to the bathroom and drink out of the toilet.

Emma runs into Sean. She tells him to go F himself with a pipe and runs off. Ashley comes out of the bathroom. We see her wiping her mouth, so there is a strong possibility that she did in fact drink out of the toilet. She consoles Sean and takes him to her bedroom. Sean has no idea Ashley is tripping out when she starts making out with him. He also has no idea he's tasting toilet water on those lips.

Jimmy corners Toby in the stairs and is about to beat the ever loving shit out of him for giving Ashley E. This is where Toby learns he and JT weren't high, just acting like dumbasses. Jimmy runs upstairs to find Ashley with Sean. Sean takes off to avoid having to kick Jimmy's ass again.

Sean bolts outside, followed by Toby. Emma is also outside. I don't know why she was just hanging in the front yard for the last fifteen minutes. Emma wants to make Sean jealous, so she hugs Toby.  The first time Toby ever gets touched by a girl, and it's just for revenge. Well, at least it's something. Toby's going to take advantage of the situation and get a little action, that's for sure.

Back inside we see proof that JT can be cool when he's not around Toby. The eight graders are having a ball just tossing JT around. Toby's really holding him back.

Jimmy tries to get Ashley to calm down, but Ashley continues her crazy drug induced crazy talk. She mentions how much bigger Sean's package is and that Jimmy isn't a real man. Ha! Terri tries to calm Ashley down, but Ashley thinks Terri is an elephant and tries to feed her a peanut. Terri gladly accepts the peanut, but Jimmy is mad now.

Paige calls Ashley and hag. Ashley retorts that Paige is a hag. Oh man, does Paige get offended by that. How dare someone insult Paige with the same name she just called someone else. Paige leaves the party and everyone else starts leaving the house after her. Paige is the life of the party, after all. Canada's Paris Hilton. Hey, notice that Spinner is taking what is left of his watermelon, as well as some straws from the house. I'm glad Spinner figured this would be a good time to steal from Ashley's house, since her parents would just figure that Ashley buried it in the backyard or something when she was high.

The next morning, a sober Ashley observes the destruction she has caused.

Spinner stops by with a shoe box of stuff Jimmy borrowed from Ashley. Maybe Jimmy was borrowing Ashley's high heels for a while. Spinner says Jimmy doesn't want to talk to her and he leaves. Ashley is so upset she breaks down crying.

All this trouble because of a jagged little pill.

Rating: A
Super awesome all around. What a way to close the season. Unfortunately Ashley will never be cool again after this episode; she'll cut her hair and become a dirty goth. God, I love that pointy head of hair. I'll miss it.

Intensity Level: 100% INTENSE
Drug use + Ashley making out with Sean + Spinner's watermelon = 100% Intense. Do the math.

Final Thoughts:
Season 1 has been pure magic, and the addition of lame-o's Craig and Ellie next season make the first season even more special to me. Even though Emma had to be a main character in every single goddamn episode, it hasn't made the season any less awesome. After all, we had the pleasure of meeting Spinner, and it has been a joy to invite him into my home every week and follow his antics, while I watch, completely naked and sporting an erection.