Who's the Biggest Slut?
| Paige | VS | Manny | VS | Emma |
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Name
Paige
Manny
Emma
Winner: PAIGE
Manny sounds like a man's name, and Emma sounds like the kind of name a small
child would have. Paige, however, sounds like the name of a streetwalker.
Appearance
Paige: Shows way too much belly for somebody who is not a belly dancer.
Manny: Dresses like a stripper who is going to a costume party as a prostitute.
Emma: Dresses fairly conservatively, however ever since her boobs grew, she has
had a tendency to wear tops that show them off.
Winner: MANNY
While Paige has been wearing belly shirts since day one, Manny upped the ante by
not only wearing shirts that show her belly button but also by wearing pants
that show off her entire ass.
I also had to factor in the fact that Manny would rather not wear underpants,
rather then face the
indignity of covering them with her regular pants.
Race
Paige: Canadian
Manny: Spicy Latina
Emma: Canadian
Winner: MANNY
She is a spicy Latina.
Experience
Paige: Has been a slut since day one.
Manny: Took two seasons before she became a slut, and before that she was a very
anti-slut.
Emma: Only recently has become a slut.
Winner: PAIGE
Paige became a slut while still in middle school. How many sluts can claim that?
Rumors
Paige: Had sex with a camp counselor.
Manny: No real rumors, though her exploits are well known.
Emma: Got gonorrhea from Jay.
Winner: PAIGE
Having gonorrhea is a worse rumor then sexing up a camp counselor, but it only
counts as a rumor if it isn't real.
Relationships
Paige: Gains points for seducing a teacher's aid and then getting him fired. Loses
points for having a long term relationship with only one person and hardly ever
thinking about cheating. Of course this was Spinner, who is not a normal person, and
even a slut like her wouldn't need anything more than him.
Manny: Has broken up two long term relationships.
Emma: Dated Sean, which is nothing to scoff at.
Winner: MANNY
Manny seems to make it her job to break up long term relationships by having sex
with one of the members, usually the man.
Relationship with Dean
Paige: Raped.
Manny: May have been raped, though probably was consensual.
Emma: Dean plans on raping her next season, right after he rapes Toby.
Winner: MANNY
Manny wins because she is such a slut that nobody would believe that she could
be raped. More then likely anybody that tries to rape her will soon find that
she wants sex, thus making rape impossible.
Slutty Consequences
Paige: None that are known
Manny: Pregnant
Emma: Gonorrhea
Winner: EMMA
As Manny shows, you can get rid of a baby, but gonorrhea never leaves, or maybe
that's herpes. Either way it keeps Dracula from kissing you during the school
play.
Sex with Jay at the Ravine
Paige: Probably but unconfirmed.
Manny: Probably, but unconfirmed.
Emma: Yes
Winner: EMMA
We have documented proof of Emma's sex at the ravine with Jay.
Angry Ex-boyfriend
Paige: Spinner
Manny: J.T.
Emma: Chris
Winner: PAIGE
Spinner is cooler and angrier then J.T. and Chris put together.
Ex-boyfriends with Ruined Lives
Paige: Spinner was soon expelled from school and then almost burned it down.
Manny: With his small penis secret out in the open, J.T. began to date Liberty.
Emma: Chris bad mouthed her in Media Immersion and stopped making appearances
on the show.
Winner: MANNY
Nothing is worse then dating Liberty. That is the kind of thing that can haunt
him forever. One day J.T. will be running for King of Canada and his opponent
will reveal that he once dated Liberty, and J.T. will be lynched.
Relationship with Homosexuals
Paige: Close friends with Marco, and her brother is Dylan.
Manny: Impregnated by Craig, who is in a band with Marco.
Emma: Very little.
Winner: PAIGE
We all know that sluts enjoy being friends with homosexuals, because secretly
they hope to convert them. Paige has had the closest relationship with gays;
both her brother and one of her friends are gay.
Expertise at Being a Groupie
Paige: Had sex with the drummer of a band.
Manny: Had sex with the lead singer of a band.
Emma: Has not had sex with any band members.
Winner: MANNY
Lead singers are way more desirable then drummers.
Final Score
Paige: 5
MANNY: 6
Emma: 2
No big surprises here, it is well known that Manny is a huge slut and that Paige
is almost as big of a slut. It is like Emma is barely even trying; all her
points came directly from giving Jay head in the sex van. For shame Emma, you are
going to have to slut yourself up a lot more if you want to be more competitive
next time.
I now bestow upon Manny the title of Slutatorium.
